Do you think Derek Hale does his own taxes? Or does he have an accountant? It must be complicated, since he’s very rich from life insurance and fire insurance and everything. That would be tricky to manage on his own with TurboTax. Does he save documents all year long so he can do his taxes? Does he let Mr. Adams at the accounting firm take care of it? Does Mr. Adams want him to look at statements before signing on the return? Does Mr. Adams ask if he can fax things over and Derek says “I don’t have a fax machine” and so Mr. Adams sighs and says he’ll talk to his assistant and work something out?
Does Derek also have a financial advisor who manages his portfolio? Does he get emails asking him if he wants to diversify? Has he invested in startups? Did Derek invest in Twitter on a whim and accidentally increase his wealth by an insane amount? Did he once sheepishly call Mr. Adams and ask about setting up a charitable trust because Derek accidentally tripled his savings?
I JUST TOLD CRIMSONCLAD THAT THE ONLY THING I CARE MORE ABOUT THAN NIPPLES IS DEREK HALE DOING MENIAL AS HELL TASKS.
DOES MR ADAMS MAKE DEREK HALE GET A PO BOX BECAUSE MAIL PEOPLE ARE SMARTER THAN ADOLESCENT BOYS AND REFUSE TO GO ANYWHERE NEAR THE LOFT’S MAILBOX? (IT’S A CARDBOARD BOX ON WHICH DEREK HALE SCRAWLED “MAIL PLZ” IN CRAYON.) DEREK KIND OF LIKES PICKING UP HIS MAIL FROM HIS POST OFFICE BOX CUZ HE LIKES GETTING MAIL EVEN THOUGH ITS MOSTLY FOR CREDIT CARDS AND CATALOGS. HE FLIPS THROUGH THE LANDS END CATALOG ANYWAY. WHO KNOWS? MAYBE HE WANTS SOMETHING. YOU DON’T KNOW HIS LIFE.
omg omg Derek getting mail! DEREK GETTING MAIL. -letters from his middle school pen pal, Larry. Larry lives in Iowa. Derek still writes to him faithfully. -fundraising appeals from the basketball camp he went to for two summers. “Our campers love learning about the DRIVE TO WIN and GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP!” -subscription to Highlights. He hasn’t paid for it in decades, he keeps trying to tell them to stop sending it, but it just keeps coming. “Get it TOGETHER, Goofus,” he sighs. -His old babysitter Mrs. Elmore sends him a check for five dollars on his birthday every year.
OK, but I want to know exactly what it is Derek tells his middle school pen pal Larry about his life. Like I’m guessing he doesn’t lie, just leaves out…almost everything?
"I was dating this really nice teacher for a little while but it didn’t work out."
"It’s hard making friends."
"Fitness is really important to me."
"Sometimes I wonder if I’ve made the right choices. Do you ever feel that way, Larry?"
All those sound EXTREMELY LIKELY. Also, sometimes he’ll just buy an issue of Sports Illustrated and mention topics from it in his letters. Or he’ll look up movie listings on his phone—not to SEE any of them, but he’ll ask Larry if HE has seen them, and when Larry writes back he will often explain the plots of those movies to Derek. That’s why Derek was once able to get a joke that Scott made about Ryan Reynolds. Scott looked proud of him, and Derek felt proud of himself. Larry is a true friend.
But what happens when Larry happens to be in California for a business trip? He’s just going to swing over to meet Derek, it’s only an hour’s drive, and they’ve been writing to each other for such a long time. It’ll be cool to finally put a face to the name, right?
And of course when Larry meets everyone it’s a hideously embarrassing exercise, because he keeps saying, “Wow, you’re just like I imagined!” or alluding to things that Derek said about them, things that Derek didn’t think were ever going to go beyond Larry.
Oh man, it’s like fake-married trope, but instead it is “fake functional human adult life” trope!
"Yeah, I totally have a refrigerator in my loft, Larry! And I definitely did NOT order it on my phone five minutes ago, NOR did I send Isaac a text asking if he would go meet the delivery truck!" And I have definitely had running water in all of my residences for the past few months. I have definitely never ever been reduced to brushing my teeth with the water that has gathered in an empty bucket out on my loft balcony. Oh, and all my closest friends absolutely come over here for reasons other than horrible murders. Like, we hang out and play games all the time, and no one bleeds at all."
What I am MOST into about this, besides everything, is the desperate, hopeless look in Derek’s eyes when he asks them all to play along, even though they probably won’t — it’s barely even worth asking — even if they’re nice enough to try, it’ll be too hard for them to stifle their laughter when Larry mentions Derek’s New Year’s Resolution to learn woodworking — The way Derek’s eyes widen, the way his face relaxes, shocked, warily pleased, when Scott looks at him and says warmly yes, of course, of course we will play along, and smacks Stiles in the side when he opens his mouth to say something smart. Because you know who is emotionally mature and can tell when something matters and actually, it turns out, doesn’t hate Derek anymore: Scott McCall.
"You know, it’s weird, I kind of pictured Scott as older than you!" says Larry. "That’s so funny!"
"Haha," says Derek. "Yeah. Weird."
SCREAAAAAAAAAAMING. Derek sends Larry letters full of how much Scott is teaching him about life and love and family. Scott’s such a good role model. Scott just really knows how to bring people together. Scott taught him how to change his voicemail greeting. Scott helped him buy a pair of galoshes because there have been so many rainstorms.
To be honest, Larry probably thought Scott was some sugar daddy in his sixties, someone taking Derek under his wing and helping him figure shit out. Larry didn’t judge. He’s just happy that Derek seems happy.
Okay, okay, I’m going to tell you what Hermione sees in Ron.
A trio is a balancing act, right? They’re equalizers of each other. Harry’s like the action, Hermione’s the brains, Ron’s the heart. Hermione has been assassinated in these movies, and I mean that genuinely—by giving her every single positive character trait that Ron has, they have assassinated her character in the movies. She’s been harmed by being made to be less human, because everything good Ron has, she’s been given.
So, for instance: “If you want to kill Harry, you’re going to have to kill me too”—RON, leg is broken, he’s in pain, gets up and stands in front of Harry and says this. Who gets that line in the movie? Hermione.
“Fear of a name increases the fear of the thing itself.” Hermione doesn’t say Voldemort’s name until well into the books—that’s Dumbledore’s line. When does Hermione say it in the movies? Beginning of Movie 2.
When the Devil’s Snare is curling itself around everybody, Hermione panics, and Ron is the one who keeps his head and says “Are you a witch or not?” In the movie, everybody else panics and Hermione keeps her head and does the biggest, brightest flare of sunlight spell there ever was.
So, Hermione—all her flaws were shaved away in the films. And that sounds like you’re making a kick-ass, amazing character, and what you’re doing is dehumanizing her. And it pisses me off. It really does.
In the books, they balance each other out, because where Hermione gets frazzled and maybe her rationality overtakes some of her instinct, Ron has that to back it up; Ron has a kind of emotional grounding that can keep Hermione’s hyper-rationalness in check. Sometimes Hermione’s super-logical nature grates Harry and bothers him, and isn’t the thing he needs even if it’s the right thing, like when she says “You have a saving people thing.” That is the thing that Harry needed to hear, she’s a hundred percent right, but the way she does it is wrong. That’s the classic “she’s super logical, she’s super brilliant, but she doesn’t know how to handle people emotionally,” at least Harry.
So in the books they are this balanced group, and in the movies, in the movies—hell, not even Harry is good enough for Hermione in the movies. No one’s good enough for Hermione in the movies—God isn’t good enough for Hermione in the movies! Hermione is everybody’s everything in the movies.
Harry’s idea to jump on the dragon in the books, who gets it in the movies? Hermione, who hates to fly. Hermione, who overcomes her withering fear of flying to take over Harry’s big idea to get out of the—like, why does Hermione get all these moments?
[John: Because we need to market the movie to girls.]
I think girls like the books, period. And like the Hermione in the books, and like the Hermione in the books just fine before Hollywood made her idealized and perfect. And if they would have trusted that, they would have been just fine.
Would the movies have been bad if she was as awesome as she was in the books, and as human as she was in the books? Would the movies get worse?
She IS a strong girl character. This is the thing that pisses me off. They are equating “strong” with superhuman. To me, the Hermione in the book is twelve times stronger than the completely unreachable ideal of Hermione in the movies. Give me the Hermione in the book who’s human and has flaws any single day of the week.
Here’s a classic example: When Snape in the first book yells at Hermione for being an insufferable know-it-all, do you want to know what Ron says in the book? “Well, you’re asking the questions, and she has to answer. Why ask if you don’t want to be told?” What does he say in the movie? “He’s got a point, you know.” Ron? Would never do that. Would NEVER do that, even before he liked Hermione. Ron would never do that.
”—Melissa Anelli THROWS IT DOWN about the way Ron and Hermione have been adapted in the movies on the latest episode of PotterCast. Listen here. This glorious rant starts at about 49:00. (via karakamos)
Celtic god of fertility, life, animals, wealth, and the underworld. Also called Herne or The Horned One. Worshiped as “the lord of wild things”.
Typically depicted with antlers like those of a stag, Cernunnos was widely worshiped in Gaul and later His cult spread to the regions of modern-day…
There’s a mix of good and bad information here—not at all surprising, because researching Cernunnos can often be like treading through a metaphorical minefield of potentially inaccurate sources.
The problem is really that there are two deities that use his name. One is the original Gaulish god (since this one came first, I’m going to use the name Cernunnos to refer to him). The other is the more modern Horned God, who is a bit of an amalgamation of several ancient deities and spirits, with extras thrown in. The latter originated, from what I’ve seen in my research, in the 1950s, when early Wiccans used Cernunnos’ name to refer to their Horned God; that same god was also associated with Herne the Hunter, Pan, etc. (I will refer to this one as The Horned God. This is a literal translation of ‘Cernunnos’, differentiated for the sake of clarity.)
Celtic god of fertility, life, animals, wealth, and the underworld. Also called Herne or The Horned One. Worshiped as “the lord of wild things”.
This is really a mashup of both the aforementioned deities, so let’s straighten it out a bit.
Cernunnos is indeed associated with life/death, wealth, and certain animals. Specifically, he is usually depicted with bulls, stags, dogs, and snakes with rams’ horns. The snake represents healing and victory (the rams’ horns being the latter part), and the bull/stag/dog part shows that he is associated with both the wild and the tame, both the hunter and the hunted. He is a god of boundaries.
The Horned God, on the other hand, is associated with fertility, animals/wild things in general, and Herne the Hunter (a British spirit who leads the Wild Hunt).
Typically depicted with antlers like those of a stag, Cernunnos was widely worshiped in Gaul and later His cult spread to the regions of modern-day Britain. His origins possibly date back to the Paleolithic era in modern-day France, as there have been found cave drawings of an upright stag or a man dressed as a stag, similar to the depictions of Cernunnos. The oldest depictions of Cernunnos were found in modern-day Italy in regions under Celtic occupation from around 400 BCE.
Most of this is about Cernunnos, with the exception of the ‘spread to Britain’ part. I’ve never seen any evidence that Cernunnos was worshipped in Britain.
Herne the Hunter, on the other hand, is an originally British spirit; since he is considered part of the Horned God, it’s fair to say that the Horned God has some kind of origin in Britain, as well as continental Europe.
Cernunnos is said to be born at the Winter Solstice and to die at the Summer Solstice, marrying a goddess in between these dates at the festival of Beltane. During the Winter and Summer Solstices, He reigns over life and death and is replaced by a moon goddess during the time between the Summer to Winter Solstices.
It’s true that Cernunnos is associated with life, death, and the boundary between them. However, the death-rebirth cycle, the associated dates, and the association with a goddess are all part of the Horned God, not Cernunnos.
He is known by many names to different groups of people. The Druids would call Him “Hu Gadarn”, meaning Hu the Mighty in Welsh. Some cultures viewed Cernunnos as a three-headed deity, possibly alluding to a connection between Cernunnos and two other deities, forming a triad.
A quick search on Hu Gadarn shows that he is a specifically Welsh figure associated with the invention of ploughing. He may be associated with the Horned God (to be honest, I’m not sure); however, I can say for a fact that he is not associated with Cernunnos.
As for the ‘three-headed deity’ part, three-headed deities are actually fairly common in Gaulish imagery; they are thought by most scholars to represent the great wisdom and knowledge of the deity, not a triad of multiple deities. Cernunnos is not closely associated with any other deities, to my knowledge.
I kinda figured this would be a sketchy research venture. It seems like there is a ridiculous amount of misinformation surrounding deities, especially from Celtic and Egyptian pantheons :/ Hence the short original post.
Sorry for spreading misinformation. Here’s some better (and more thorough) stuff on Cernunnos!!
“The niece of the great Mongol leader, Kubla Khan, Princess Khutulun was described by Marco Polo as the greatest warrior in Khan’s army. She told her uncle she would marry any man who could wrestle her and win. If they lost they had to give her 100 horses.
Here’s the thing about being pro choice that people don’t get… You don’t have to morally agree with abortion to be pro choice. That’s why it’s not called pro abortion. It’s an understanding that you can’t make that choice for someone else and they have full control over that not you. It’s pro I’m not the boss of everyone else.
“But I ..I do have a, there’s a very special place in my heart for Scott, who is my Peter Parker essentially. So, I would say he’s probably closest to my heart because he is the hero of the story, he is the Teen Wolf, and he’s beautifully, brilliantly played by Tyler Posey.”— Jeff Davis @ 11:50 (via kurenai24)
Humans have a big cluster of dead keratin tendrils growing from our heads and we arrange them in different configurations and worry about whether other people find our keratin tendril arrangements aesthetically pleasing.